And Then
by blueberry-kun
Summary: / sasuke & naruto (friendship) / And then, I'm gonna come in there and shove my foot in your ass.


**And Then?**

summary—**And then, I'm gonna come in there and shove my foot in your ass. Sasuke.**

disclaimer—**No no no.**

second version; **self-edited.**

**.**

notes—**So, I saw this super funny video on Youtube with the 'and then' part from Dude Where's My Car? with Sasuke in it, and somewhere in the incontrollable giggling and weird looks from my sister, this idea kind of crawled into my brain and died XD ew.**

* * *

"Dude I'm hungry."

Naruto threw his head back on the car seat, his hand hanging out the Mercedes' window. He groaned, and his stomach followed. "Let's get food, Sasuke."

"Hell no." said Sasuke, keeping his body a comfortable distance from the steering wheel as he drove. "Everytime I get food with you, you take fuckin' forever to order."

The blonde widened his eyes in desperation. No? _No? _He couldn't say _no_, because Naruto needed food. Fast. He squirmed around a little and looked out the window to find some sort of drive-thru.

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaaasssseeeeee, Sasuke-kuuuuuun pleaaaaassseeeee?" he whined. "I'msohungryyyyyyyyy."

When Sasuke ignored him, Naruto got _really _desperate. He continued to whine, opening his mouth obnoxiously and spouting nonsense.

"Why, God? Why won't this bastard just get a poor kid some food? He has plenty of money, Lord, but he won't share with those less fortunate. Forgive him, Lord, for he know not the sins he commits; please, let the devil go easy on him in hell.

"Shit, dude, I legit think I'm gonna die. I can actually feel the walls of my stomach being consumed by it's own acid.

"Ughhhhhh WHYY-"

"Shut the hell up!" yelled Sasuke. He swiftly spun the wheel, directing the car towards a Chinese food drive-thru. "God, I'll get you some food, but please, just shut. The hell. Up."

The blonde smiled internally. A small, evil part of him rubbed his hands together in a small, evil way. It cackled, and before Naruto knew it, he began to cackle as well.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHH!"

His friend looked at him in an alarmed manner. "What the hell's wrong with you? Tch, dobe."

The car waited idly behind a beat-up red Ford truck. A few minutes passed, and the driver seemed to grow increasingly irritated, before finally yelling something at the box Sasuke couldn't comprehend. he waited a while, before pulling up.

"_Chinese fooooood."_

"Yeah," said Sasuke. "I'd like to place an order."

"_Yeeeeees?"_

"Uh, two orders of the...orange chicken, and-"

_I'm just a gigolo and everywhere I go_

_People know the part, I'm playin' _

_Paid for every dance, sellin' each romance _

_Ooh, what they're sayin'_

Naruto whipped out his iPhone with the black-and-orange striped cover. He checked the caller ID, although the ringtone should've made it obvious.

"Hello? ...Yeah, we're just gettin' food. You want something? ...Orange chicken. You too? You too? Okay, gimme a sec.

"Hey Sasuke-"

"I know, dobe. Okay, make that three orders of orange chicken... and some chow mein." spoke the dark haired teen.

Some static came from the machine. _"And then?"_

Sasuke looked over at Naruto. "You want anything else?"

"...Kiba said he wants some soup." he replied.

"Uh, and add another three orders of your sweet and sour soup."

"_**And some fortune cookies!"**_ came Kiba's voice from the speaker. There was a lot pew-pew sounds coming from his end of the line. _**"Maybe I'll find out how the hell to beat this game!"**_

The Uchiha rolled his eyes at the idiot on the phone. He sighed, and turned back towards the machine. "And some fortune cookies with that too."

_"And then?"_

"That should be about it."

_"And then?"_

"Nonono, I'm done. That's everything, I promise."

_"And then?"_

Sasuke began to get irritated. "No, no 'and then', that's all I'm gonna order."

_"And then?"_

"Heh, and then.. and then that'll be it, cause I'm finished ordering."

_"And then?"_

Damn, this lady was annoying,even by Naruto's standards. There's no 'and then' after you finish ordering! Shit.

"Okay, no, listen. All I want is the chow mein, and the chicken."

"And the soup!" hissed Naruto.

"Oh, and the soup-" .

Kiba piped up. _**"Don't forget the fortune cookies, dude!"**_

"An-and the fortune cookies.

"Okay, so just the orange chicken, chow mein, sweet and sour soup, and some fortune cookies."

_"And then?"_

Holy. Shit. "Uh, and then, you can put it in a styrofoam container and put it in my hands, 'cause I'm fucking hungry."

"Me too, dobe!"

_"Aaaaand theeeeen?" _droned the machine.

A small vein popped in Sasuke's forehead. If this god-forsaken machine said 'and then' again, he was gonna snap, and it was not gonna be pretty.

"Listen, lady, I am _not_ playing your fuckin' Chinese food mind games!"

"_Aaaaaand theeeen?"_

"No 'and then'!"

_"And then!"_

"No 'and then'!"

_"And then!"_

"No 'and then'!"

_"And then!"_

"No, goddammit, no and then-"

_"Aaaand theeeen?"_

"Lady, I am seriously getting pissed off-"

_"Aaaaaand theeeeeen?"_

The usually composed teen's face grew dark. This was ending. Now. "And then, heh, and then I'm gonna _come in there and put my foot in your ass if you say 'and then' one more fucking time!"_

"..."

_**"..."**_

_"..._

_"ANDTHENANDTHENANDTHENANDTHEN ANDTHEN—"_

.

.

.

"Dude, I'm still hungry."

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notes**—hehe ^_^ I really should be sleeping right now, but I really had to put this up by today :P the video is pretty funny, so if you wanna check it out, I'll put it up on my tumblr, and the link is on my profile :3**

**Oh, and the first person to review this gets the next chapter of rain dance dedicated to them!**

**Pleasepleasepleaseplease review! Even if it's just a smiley face, or a 'good', every little bit counts! ^_^**

**blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. There, now, it's 1,000 words on the dot!**


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